My mother died six weeks ago after a long struggle against Alzheimer's disease. In my clumsy efforts to connect with her in her final days, to show my love and care, I played folk music records and I read aloud to her.
I read from the Bible, from the Book of Common Prayer, and from an oral history of our ancestors in Appalachia in the 1700s and 1800s. All these texts were handy in her bedroom, her small private space at Assisted Living, with her clothes, the last couple of pieces of her furniture, a few family photos and paintings hanging on the walls. This room was where Mom died.
The CDs and CD player, I brought with me. God knows why I didn't do it much sooner. One CD I played was by Peter Paul & Mary, with whom I am pretty familiar--I used to play this album to my daughters when they were small. Another I played was a best-of compilation of the Kingston Trio, whom I remember Mom and Dad liking way back when I was a kid. I was fuzzy on their biographical details, and curious. So I consulted Wikipedia.
I learned they got their start in the San Francisco Bay area. That two of the original members grew up in Hawaii, playing ukeleles, hearing slack-key guitars. The third grew up in San Diego, the son of a naval officer who collected records along his travels, including calypso. The San Diego guy went to Menlo College with one of the Honolulu guys, that was how the group formed. "Kingston" is a Jamaica reference.
Unlike some of the New York crowd, the Kingston Trio were not folklorists nor purists of any stripe. They chose songs they could put across to a live audience in a rousing or beguiling way. Once the performance was over, the provenance of the song didn't matter to them. They lost a lawsuit over the song "Tom Dooley," which they called Traditional on the LP credits, and maybe it was but there was a recorded version that the boys heard and went to school on, or so the court thought. The song "Scotch and Soda" was given to them by the parents of a girl from Fresno whom one of the members was dating. The group tried to discover the song's authorship, but it remains a mystery. That Fresno girl's kid brother grew up to be the great baseball pitcher Tom Seaver.
With songs such as "Shady Grove," the Kingston Trio also dipped into the stream of "Old World ballads" preserved in Appalachia and collected by song finders such as Cecil Sharp. Mr. Sharp's researches led him to Madison County, North Carolina during the World War I years. Sharp and his assistant Maud Karpeles spent several weeks with the Wallin family.
Sharp described Mitchell Wallin as a "bad singer" and a difficult fiddler to notate due to his penchant for improvisation, but considered his visit to Wallin and Sands "fruitful."[2] Years later, Berzilla Wallin said many residents of Madison County were initially suspicious of Sharp, believing that his purpose in the area was to secretly map the region for the construction of a dam and reservoir (and thus require the evictions of hundreds of residents).[2] Others thought Sharp was a German spy. Doug Wallin later said that his grandfather, Tom Wallin— who had become a devout Baptist and disapproved of singing any songs other than hymns— threatened to disown family members if they performed for Sharp.[4] In spite of local skepticism, Madison County proved to be one of the more ballad-rich areas Sharp visited.
At first glance I found the suspicion that Sharp (an Englishman) was really a German spy to be far-fetched. But then I remembered that the nearby town of Hot Springs was the site of an enemy internment camp during WW1, so there were German speakers around who apparently were interested in assimilating into the community. The suspicion that Sharp was an agent of a malign corporation or malign government bureaucrats is not nearly so far-fetched. I'm also struck by the detail about devout Baptists hating secular music, so that singing itself became a sign of disloyalty. What a general atmosphere of suspicion seemed to exist in this county.
It is worth noting that the entire Wallin family were descended from a man who was killed for his efforts to recruit Union support in the area during the Civil War. A long-simmering brew of violence, grief, secrecy, political passions, maybe even religious identity - all these things got expressed in a dedication to singing and passing along old songs. Among other ways, I'm sure. (Incidentally, pro-Union activities in western North Carolina are in the background of the Tom Dooley/Dula legend as well.)
Perhaps it is silly or disrespectful of me to refer to my mother's death in this essay. Maybe I should examine what I'm up to with these "rabbit hole" posts. Surely part of it is trying to find purpose in the hours I spend web-surfing, to justify myself. But I feel all of us construct meaning from scattered bits and pieces. Not always, but sometimes, I find the beginnings of a good story in these meandering trains of thought and the disparate themes I find lumped together in these "rabbit holes."
Mom liked folk music. She grew up in Appalachia and had family roots there, including in the Carter Family's backyard, but more crucially, she was a college kid playing a ukelele and taking part in dormitory sing-alongs around 1960. Did Mom like the Carter Family or old-time ballad singing? I don't know, and I didn't think to ask her until it was too late. (The Alzheimer's, I mean. I had lots of questions in the last few years that she was unable to answer.) I know Mom liked the Kingston Trio and the Limeliters, two West Coast groups who today are viewed as somewhat cheesy. What do distinctions between cheesy, commercial, and "authentic" mean in the context of what we call American folk music, and so what?
Many people living with dementia develop a sense of isolation, even distrust. They sense that conversations are going on outside their hearing, decisions and plans are being made outside their view. Mom mostly trusted my brother and me, but I know there were times when she felt we were doing things against her wishes: selling her possessions, shuffling her off to a bleak living space. Partly due to sheer cognitive decline, and partly due to this siege mentality, basic communication became difficult.
Mom's caregivers and fellow residents were sometimes able to break through, make a connection, just by using the words of a popular song: See you later, alligator / After a while, crocodile. Call and response.
I wanted Mom to hear my voice at the end. I wanted her to feel that she wasn't alone, that someone who knew and loved her was present. I had too many words, and no words. So I borrowed some words and rhythms, some familiar prayers and Bible verses read aloud, some folk songs played on the boom box, "If I Had a Hammer" and "Tom Dooley." Sometimes I sang along.
Photo: By Unknown author - Copied from The Kingston Trio website. Transferred from en.wikipedia to Commons by User:KCMO., CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=15624481



